Spinster

I wouldn’t call myself a superstitious person, but I LOVE reading my horoscope. Rob Brezsny, of Free Will Astrology, does the best horoscopes. They’re great: random, funny, poignant. Sometimes I read them all and choose the one I like the most.

To give you a sample, here’s his horoscope for my sign, Taurus, for the week of July 12:

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Surveys show that two out of every ten people have bought stuff they found out about through e-mail spam. While you’re no doubt too sophisticated to be among that number, you might want to open your mind a bit to the possibility. That’s because the astrological omens suggest you may soon receive useful information and out-of-the-blue inspiration from sources you’ve ignored in the past–even chattering gossipers and questionable teachers and TV news shows. Don’t be too sure you already know where your juiciest clues will be coming from.

This week, though, I’m going to have to go with Capricorn:

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You: difficult to push around, more hungry for intimacy than you let on, smarter than 85 percent of the people you know. Me: provider of friendly shocks, fond of playing a didgeridoo in the rain at dusk and dawn, outrageously tolerant of other people’s eccentricities. So is there any hope of a relationship between us? Well of course there is. We’re having a relationship right now, aren’t we? Maybe it’s not the exact kind of connection you’d like to have with me, but you’ve got to admit there’s value in it. Now please apply that lesson to your thinking about all your close alliances: Love them for what they are, and don’t criticize them for what they’re not.

Love him, love him, love him.