Spinster

Yesterday, a friend (who shall remain nameless unless she wants her name published, in which case I can edit) and I had a long conversation about library jobs and places in which we would consider living. For those of us about to graduate from library school, I think we can all appreciate the sentiments contained within:

Me: So, I’m looking on Library Jobs, mainly just to see what’s out there. Clearly, there are many, many director positions that need to be filled; I think it’s safe to say that we qualify for approximately zero of these. Because I haven’t decided whether I would actually like to be a young adult librarian, I am reading those job descriptions plus reference and other librarian positions. But I don’t really WANT to do reference. I don’t think I’d be that good at it, unless it was in some sort of specialized context.
Ugh. This is making me depressed.

Nameless Friend: Well, I just want to be a special librarian, and it is pretty safe to
say that I am not qualified for any of those jobs…wait, except for
the one I applied to last week that hasn’t called me back yet. Talk
about depressed.

I look at job sites every day and never ever see anything I could do
in a place I would be willing to live (I admit, I don’t even look at
the ones in places like Ohio or Arkansas).

Yes, library jobs=depressed.
Also,
Business class = depressed.

Me: Library jobs = depressed
All classes = depressed
Graduating in six months with not enough experience to get jobs = depressed
The sheer number of library jobs available in Miami the place I hate more than any other place on earth = depressed

NF: Well, we’re just fucked then, aren’t we? Why don’t they tell us this
on the first day of school? ‘Don’t fool yourselves. You will not get
jobs. Unless they are in Miami or Arkansas.’

Did we already talk about whether you would live in Nashville or not?
I think I might.

And, we are graduating in less than six months. 5.5 to be more exact.

Me: Um, Nashville? No. I just don’t think I could bring myself to do it. Isn’t Nashville like the home of country music? I fucking hate country music. Here are the non-desirable places that I would live in if I was forced to:
1. The research triangle in NC
2. DC
3. Any small town in New England
4. Most small towns in the Pacific Northwest
5. Possibly St. Augustine, FL or maybe whatever town New College of South Florida (I’m not sure if that’s the name) is in
6. Austin, TX
7. New Orleans, LA (but I would have to think long and hard about it)

Here is a list of places that I won’t even apply to:
1. Miami, FL
2. Miami-Dade County, FL
3. Ft. Lauderdale, FL
4. Broward County, FL
5. Anywhere in the panhandle, FL
6. Orlando, FL
7. Mississippi
8. Alabama
9. Arkansas
10. Kentucky
11.Southern California
12. North Dakota
13. South Dakota
14. Houston, TX
15. Dallas, TX
16. San Antonio, TX
17. Anywhere outside of Atlanta, GA, or Savannah, GA
18. Possibly Atlanta, GA
19. The rest of NC
20. All of SC, except for Charleston

The moral of the story? It turns out I’m not so geographically flexible.

NF: Ok, the non-desirable places I would live in if forced to:
1.Nashville (I like old-school country and it is very pretty there)
2.Los Angeles (kills my soul, but I have wonderful friends
there…remember, this is the forced to list)
3. DC
4. NY
5. New Mexico
6. Small town New England
7. Boston

Places I will happily move to:
1. Portland
2. Seattle or Olympia
3. Santa Cruz
4. SF Bay Area
5. Vancouver
6. Stay in Toronto
7. Austin, TX
8. Cool European city

In that order.

I am competely geographically unflexible. Because really after number
4 on my list, I am a lot less happy. You know what this means? We
are going to be horribly underemployed and unhappy.

I like how you were able to break Florida into several parts you would
not live in, whereas I would just say: Florida.

Me: Places I would gladly live:
1. Toronto
2. Portland
3. Seattle
4. Bay Area
5*. Vancouver
6. Kansas City, MO
7. Chicago
8. Savannah, GA
9. Charleston, SC

* = After this number, my desire to live in these places drops considerably.

I wouldn’t live in Olympia. I’ve only been there twice but it was soooo small. And, really, Evergreen is the most ridiculous excuse for a school. Seriously, there were students living in the goddamn woods. Like, get a job, hippie! Although it is gorgeous. So MAYBE I’d consider it. Consider. I’ve only been to St. Augustine twice but I really liked it, and if I was forced to live in FL, that’s probably the only place I would realistically consider.

So, yeah, this is my future: underemployed in Portland or fully employed in Miami. Which would be less likely to kill me? I think it’s safe to say the former. Which means that I will NEVER make any money and will be forced to have roommates for the rest of my life.

NF: I think that living unemployed in Portland would be way better than
fully employed in Miami. Plus, you probably woudn’t be unemployed.
You would just be underemployed working in a bookstore. Plus, if you
sold some of your crafts I am sure you could live alone in a studio.
There is always the option of getting married and staying (unemployed)
in Toronto.

So there you have it, folks. My options are to grab the first Canadian I see (either gender!) and get hitched down at city hall, or live in a stinking cesspit of a city somewhere in Nowhere, USA.