Spinster

In order to navigate the waters of dating in the twenty-first century, you have to be knowledgeable of body language and you must pay attention to details. Body language is the biggie: can you tell, by non-verbal clues alone, whether someone is interested in you? Do you know what those non-verbal clues are? Do you know how to use body language consciously to your advantage, to either convey interest or a lack of interest? Paying attention to details is kind of a tough one, because it requires you to read between the lines. Yeah, I know, she said she’d give you a call, but how did she say it? Was it in response to that pleading look in your eyes, or did she volunteer it? He kissed you, so maybe he is interested in seeing you again, but was it really that intimate of a kiss?

As we all know, I went on a date last weekend. It was great (I thought): the conversation flowed, the body language was excellent. It lasted 8 hours, until 4:30 in the morning. The boy was interesting and, I thought, interested.

Against my (and my friends’) better judgment, I called him on Tuesday evening to say thanks, and to see what he was up to this coming weekend. I wasn’t going to call him, then I was going to call but I was going to wait until Wednesday -a safe four days after the event- but then I got impatient and called on Tuesday. The phone must’ve rung a billion times before the voicemail picked up, and I had visions of him holding the phone, my name and number flashing on the screen, as he waited for the ringing to stop. I left your standard message: “Hi, it’s Tasha. I just wanted to say thanks for Saturday. I had a good time, and I was wondering what you’re doing this weekend. Anyway, I’ll talk to you later.”

I didn’t hear from him at all this week. At first, I felt like an idiot -who calls someone on Tuesday to make plans for the weekend- but I got over that one around Thursday morning. Now, I’m stuck in the limbo of What did I do wrong?, which is the self-doubt that one experiences after going on a date with a Misleader.

A Misleader is probably the worst kind to date. If you’re on a date that is not going well and both parties know it, it might be a bummer of a night, but at least everyone knows where they stand. If you’re on a date that is going well, it’s a great night and everyone still knows where they stand. If, however, you’re on a date that seems to be going well -and I, having been on a few dates and being what I thought was decently fluent in the language of dating, did think it was going well- but you never hear from the person again, you don’t know where you stand and you likely just got misled by a Misleader.