Spinster

I’ve been sort of bad at updating my blog lately. I don’t really have anything to show for myself — I’m working on a knitting project but it’s top secret, and I plan on making a couple more clamshell boxes, but that hasn’t happened yet, and I just haven’t had time to make any jewelry. Also, school, work, my practicum, my friends, and the new boy have been keeping me busy.

Oh, and I’ve started the long, tedious process of looking for a job, a real job, a professional job. To complicate that, I’m not entirely sure of what I want to do. Or rather, I know what I’d like to do (photo archivist), but I’m not convinced that I’ll find/be able to get that specific job, so it’s more a matter of discovering the best fit with what’s out there. It’s funny how few library/archives jobs I could apply to and have a reasonable chance of not being laughed out the door — most of the jobs being advertised are for librarian II or III positions or higher, or are for academic librarian positions and require things like second master’s degrees or languages, or are so technology-based that the job ads consist mostly of computer-related acronyms that I don’t understand. Finally, the public library jobs, most of which I am qualified for as they encourage entry-level candidates to apply, are just not enticing. I’ve worked in customer service at many a job and I think that working with the public — the real public, the public library public, not the specialized public of academia or an archives — is just not for me. I’d like something a little bit more intellectually challenging, a bit more personal, and a bit less babysitting-ish.

To compound the above challenges in finding a job, I also have to throw in the geographic restrictions (which exist mostly in my head, but whatever; to me, they’re real). I might be able to stay in Canada, which would be lovely, but it’s Toronto that I’d really like to continue living in cause this is where my friends are, but I’m just not seeing jobs here. Furthermore, what is the deal with the Canada-US NAFTA work visa thing? Do you need a pre-arranged job to get one or not? I’m getting conflicting information and it’s just confusing.

Then again, if I returned home, where would I work in the US? Is the job more important, or is my location? Would I be able to live in Podunk, USA, for two years if it meant having a great job? What if having that great job meant not having close friends, or living in a stiflingly conservative community? Would I be able to live in Awesome City, USA, if I had to work at Borders? Why are there tons of jobs in Florida, and should I even bother applying since I know I hate that state and have no desire to live there?

Last week, my roommate and my father were sort of getting on my case — albeit gently — about what my upcoming plans are, what I’ll be doing for the summer, when my parents can visit me here, etc., and I was just like, ‘Oh my God. I have no idea.’ I cannot have that conversation, people, especially with those who “just want to know.” I can talk to Heather, who is similarly freaking out, and Alli, whose reassurance is always nice to hear; in short, I can talk to others in my program who are experiencing the same fears that I am over all of this. But to those of you who aren’t involved, who don’t understand what this is all about? I love you, but back off. I’m working on it, and it’ll sort itself out when it does, but until then don’t bug me, cause there’s nothing I can do about it.