Spinster

I’ve sworn off men once again, people. I know, I know, not a huge surprise, and also a vow likely to be broken in a matter of days, given the course of my dating life so far. But if it doesn’t get broken, more power to me.

I mentioned this no-more-men vow to my father, who along with my mom usually gets the abbreviated version of my dating life (it’s not a love life, really, and I would be a fool to refer to it as such). My dad is vaguely supportive of me in my romantic spills and scrapes — he obviously doesn’t wish me any harm but also refuses to hand out advice on the matter; I’m not sure if this is because he thinks it would go unheeded and doesn’t wish to waste his breath, or if it’s because he doesn’t want to be held accountable for anything I do upon receiving advice. My frequent lament is that I haven’t had a really serious boyfriend since Vito, my college boyfriend, and I broke up four years ago (holy fuck). Since, I’ve dated plenty of guys and have entered into little pseudo-relationships with some that never last more than a couple of months. (This is certainly something I see as a failure. What, after all, is the point of trying on so many freakin’ hats if you never ever find one that you want to wear for more than half a season?) Anyway, I was discussing this with my father, and I mentioned that I put up with a lot of bullshit from Vito that I wouldn’t necessarily put up with from him or anyone else now. My father said, “Well, maybe that’s your problem. Maybe you need to lower your standards.”

I was floored. My father thinks I need to lower my standards? People, when your parents start telling you that you’re aiming too high, someone has a problem. Isn’t my dad supposed to say things like, “That bastard! His loss,” and, “No man is good enough for my little girl”?