Daddy’s little girl
June 3, 2007 at 7:11 pm | In boys, family | 6 CommentsI’ve sworn off men once again, people. I know, I know, not a huge surprise, and also a vow likely to be broken in a matter of days, given the course of my dating life so far. But if it doesn’t get broken, more power to me.
I mentioned this no-more-men vow to my father, who along with my mom usually gets the abbreviated version of my dating life (it’s not a love life, really, and I would be a fool to refer to it as such). My dad is vaguely supportive of me in my romantic spills and scrapes — he obviously doesn’t wish me any harm but also refuses to hand out advice on the matter; I’m not sure if this is because he thinks it would go unheeded and doesn’t wish to waste his breath, or if it’s because he doesn’t want to be held accountable for anything I do upon receiving advice. My frequent lament is that I haven’t had a really serious boyfriend since Vito, my college boyfriend, and I broke up four years ago (holy fuck). Since, I’ve dated plenty of guys and have entered into little pseudo-relationships with some that never last more than a couple of months. (This is certainly something I see as a failure. What, after all, is the point of trying on so many freakin’ hats if you never ever find one that you want to wear for more than half a season?) Anyway, I was discussing this with my father, and I mentioned that I put up with a lot of bullshit from Vito that I wouldn’t necessarily put up with from him or anyone else now. My father said, “Well, maybe that’s your problem. Maybe you need to lower your standards.”
I was floored. My father thinks I need to lower my standards? People, when your parents start telling you that you’re aiming too high, someone has a problem. Isn’t my dad supposed to say things like, “That bastard! His loss,” and, “No man is good enough for my little girl”?
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From what I know of your father, who is a man of few words, that’s a powerful statement and one that should have some time taken to think about it. For example I wouldn’t say your standards are too high, it’s not really a standard thing… it’s a “put up with thing”. Like I don’t put up with people not calling when they say they’re going to… oh I guess that’s a standard… hmmm maybe everyone, you, me, boys, girls, my trainer, our parents, maybe we all need to lower are standards a bit and let a few more people in… shit I’m bloging on you blog
Comment by Aundra — June 5, 2007 #
My mom said, and I think she is right about this, that the older you get, the pickier you seem to become. What I took from this is that we have lives: friends, jobs, hobbies, things that we value and make us happy. We have a life. And instead of finding someone and making a life together, we’re at the age where we need to find someone who clicks with where we are at. And that’s where the picky comes in. I mean, things are pretty great as they are. Is a girl supposed to sacrifice that without thought? I think not. However, second chances are probably warranted, and first impressions should be allowed to be mended. But all that aside, I think picky is wonderful.
Comment by Alli — June 6, 2007 #
I totally don’t think that I need to lower my standards! I mean, what? Why would I do that? That’s like saying, “Yeah, I could apply for a really great job but I probably won’t get it. Instead, let me just take an unfulfilling and ultimately dead-end job.” I guess I think that, when it comes to a relationship that’s pretty serious, one that might end in marriage and (god forbid) children, why in the hell would you settle? Why would you want to create babies with someone who sucks?
Comment by Tasha — June 7, 2007 #
okay, I wasn’t meaning lower your standard so low that you’re dating some skumbag. i’m more saying… a standards compramize. if there are 7 GREAT things about this guy and 2 things that drive you nut… that’s not a reason to call it quits and be like dude he listens to shitty music or he keeps leaving his dirty socks by the tv or whatever… I just notice that we all seem to judge on the negative before we even give the positive sides of a person a chance. I mean shit we all have our flaws and as much as we think they make us cute and indearing they can be annoying and, well, flaws. I would want someone to give my pluses a chace before they judge me on my flaws.
Comment by Aundra — June 8, 2007 #
Yeah, Aundra, I agree with you. But I don’t think it’s a list of pros and cons that makes you like someone. It’s just a feeling, especially at first, when we’re super willing to overlook any and all of someone’s flaws. I’ve never broken up with someone or gotten together with someone based on a list of things I liked and didn’t like about them!
Comment by Tasha — June 10, 2007 #
I’ve found that my parents have gotten a little less wise as I’ve gotten older. Or maybe I’ve just gotten wiser and surpassed them in their wise-osity.
Don’t you dare lower your standards! You deserve to have someone who lives up to your awesomeness.
Comment by Kristen — June 16, 2007 #