Spinster

Ok, I like music as much as the next girl, which means:

–I listen to lots of the music I was raised on, including the eternally uncool Billy Joel and the Beach Boys’ surf songs (not just the hipster-approved Pet Sounds);

–I also listen to pop artists and indie bands and folk and classic rock and grunge and sometimes classical and never, ever, EVER country or techno or Celine Dion; and

–I even went through my own rock star phase when I was 14, wherein I decided that my dream in life was to play the guitar, so I took lessons and went to a rock ‘n’ roll “camp” over the summer (two weeks at the University of Miami; it wasn’t super elaborate or anything and there were lots of cute boys); I wore band t-shirts and Converse and torn jeans and flannel; and I shopped at the now-defunct Y & T Records in Miami, where I longed to buy the Don’t Suck Corporate Cock shirt but figured it might not be the best idea to ask my mom to buy it for me (shut up).

However.

I grew out of my music snob phase quite a while ago, and even though I still enjoy teasing Lorien for her taste in music , I just do not give a shit about my friends’, my coworkers’, the boys I date’s, taste in music. (Sorry for that awkward sentence construction there.)

Sometimes, I think I might be the only one.

Has anyone else had the unfortunate combination of being a single girl in a large, hip city; being attracted to tall, thin nerdy types; and also not giving a flying fuck about anyone’s band? I mean, hello, I barely even know the names of the musicians in the bands I like. But, I fear that I should just resign myself to dating pretentious music snobs and closet rock stars, people who consider knowledge of obscure bands — most of them local — to be the pinnacle of knowledge and the only thing worth discussing.

I’ve dated musicians before and have found that this always, always, becomes a point of contention, partly due, I’m sure, to my own attitude towards their obsession with music and their band. Talking about music doesn’t bother me, actually, and I like being exposed to new stuff; it’s when music becomes the only topic of conversation that I start to get pissy and irritated. Why do people, urban boys in particular, become so obsessed with music? Why is it used as a platform of cool? Is it because it’s something we all have in common? I mean, everyone listens to some kind of music, so I suppose knowing more about it than most other people has a certain kind of attraction, if you’re a certain kind of douchebag. It’s just bothersome that we can never discuss things about which I am knowledgeable, like literature or knitting or photography. Or even things that neither of us know anything about, like woodworking, or kites, or whatever. I mean, I don’t care what the fuck we talk about, as long as it’s not (often and incessantly):
–your band,
–your friend’s band,
–[insert name of obscure local band here], or
–the Beatles versus the Rolling Stones (similarly: Pet Sounds versus Revolver; how country music influenced rock ‘n’ roll; why early the Who is better than late the Who).

The impetus for this post is that I’ve been browsing through some ads on Lavalife (online dating, for the uninitiated), and I swear to you, nine times out of ten, if I happen upon a profile that isn’t littered with exclamation marks or cheesy, pseudo-romantic catchphrases (Am I the 1 4 U? and similar), the dude is a musician. Some even mention it in their LL “name” (e.g., GuitrLovr). I feel like just throwing in the towel and dating an accountant or something. After all, OkCupid’s dating persona quiz told me, a Window Shopper, that “Even though you might be attracted to them, avoid artists at all costs.” Clearly, there is only room for one artsy snob in a relationship, and that’s sure as hell going to be me.