You know you’re old when…

September 19, 2007 at 1:40 pm | Posted in random | 3 Comments

…you leave a rock concert early because your back hurts, your feet hurt, and it’s too late for you to be out on a work night.

My friends and I went to the Rilo Kiley concert last night at the Phoenix. Ok, it sounds cool when I say it like that, but the reality of it was more like, Ugh, dude, we’ve been standing here for, like, THREE HOURS. How long does it take to do a friggin’ sound check? I’m pretty sure the guitar was in tune the first 30 times you picked it up. Man, I can’t wait to go home and crawl into bed…

Rilo Kiley was super awesome, real tight, and Jenny Lewis is just gorgeous. She is beautiful and sexy and she rocks. Every single male in the room was drooling. But the standing. And the other people. And the waiting. And the dickhead bouncers. I am just too old for that shit. At midnight on a work night, I want to be in bed watching TV.

Can we note that all three of the bands that played last night (Grand Ole Party, Jonathan Rice, and RK) are from California? Can we also note that a song about coyotes taking over the Governor’s Mansion from Ahnold doesn’t really resonate with a Canadian audience? Jonathan Rice explained the song, and the audience’s reaction was something like this:


Call me crazy, but I’m pretty sure no one outside of California or maybe the West Coast — maybe — gives a shit about the Governator. It’s just that nobody remembered to inform Californians of that fact. It kind of reminded me of this one time in my freshman year of undergrad when this sophomore girl announced that nobody had dare fuck with her ’cause “I’m from San Francisco.” Uh, really? The mean streets of Frisco? Bitch, please. St. Louis? Absolutely. South Central? You betcha. I’ll give you Atlanta and Brooklyn and Detroit and pretty much any city on the entire North American continent including, fuck, I don’t know, Halifax, Nova Scotia, before I’ll give you San Francisco. Anyway, sometimes the whole California complex gets to me. I’m trying really hard not to like Rilo Kiley any less just ’cause they’re based in LA, but man, it’s hard.


Timeline of a (reluctant) love affair

July 9, 2007 at 12:43 am | Posted in random | Leave a comment

Birth to the end of high school
I must admit, when I was a child I was afraid of computers — in 2nd grade, when we went to the computer lab to play Oregon Trail and Word Munchers, I always tried to get out of it because I was afraid I would break the machines. Plus, I mean, I’m just not a big game person (except for Tetris and Super Mario and Snood). And for the longest time, my family didn’t even have a normal computer. We had a computer, but it had those big old floppy-floppy disks and I’m pretty sure it only did word processing. That was in, like, 1997. Swear to God. Eventually, we caught up with the late-’90s and got a real computer, one with an actual internet connection (AOL dial-up, what’s up?). I sure did love receiving emails, but I wouldn’t say I was completely hooked yet.

1999 to 2004
And then I went to college in 1999. I got my own computer. It had a CD burner (!!). It was fast. It was also MASSIVE — it was a desktop from Gateway and after I lugged that thing around, like, five times during all of my moves, I vowed to get a laptop the next time I got a computer. But still, I loved it. I figured out how to convert mp3s to wav files or vice versa (whatever, I don’t really remember) in Winamp to burn CDs. I used AIM. I’m pretty sure I downloaded porn. I know I downloaded pretty much my weight in mp3s (I’d like to give a freshman-year shout out to Napster). Eventually, however, things went south. The internet connection at one of the houses I lived in was sporadic and there were five of us trying to use it at all times. My then-current boyfriend spent approximately a million hours playing stupid Alpha Centauri on it while I was trying to write my thesis and he was taking the semester off school. I didn’t even bother to unpack it at the last place I lived at in Portland. When I moved, I gladly gave it to my friend Eric.

February 2005
I was living at home when my parents’ computer crapped out on them. My mom was going through a rebellious phase (it happens every now and again. When I was like 16 she wanted us to get matching Tinkerbell tattoos) and went out and bought a sweet iMac (she also bought me an iPod mini, which I loved dearly until I callously upgraded it for a video iPod). Dude. That was maybe a turning point in my life. We were in the Mac store in The Falls mall in craptastic Miami and everything was just so…sleek. Sleek and white and black and punctuated with bursts of metallic blue, green, and pink. I was charmed. I fell in love. To this day, I adore my mom’s computer, to the point that I would consider visiting Miami just to be able to play with it a little bit. She doesn’t even use it. My next major goal in life is to somehow convince her to give it to me without having to give up my laptop.

September 2005-present
I purchased my laptop (iBook G4) when I started grad school. I believe this coincided with the Internet going from pretty awesome to mind-blowing. Gmail and gmail chat (if I ever win any kind of work-related award, I am going to have to thank gmail chat for getting me through every single work day). Blogs. (I’m going to pause for a moment here, to reflect upon my love of blogs. I mean, oh my God. Celebrity gossip blogs, knitting/crafty blogs, single-girl-in-the-city-ruminating-on-the-lack-of-good-men-out-there blogs, random bitchy-people blogs. And those are only the ones I read. Think of all the actual, important-things blogs — blogs that discuss politics and world events and culture.) Podcasts. (Hello, Savage Love! Nothing says Monday morning at work like weird feeder fetishes and anal sex. Also, This American Life is fairly fantastic. And the best thing? You can download them for free on iTunes. Love it.) For the crafty, DIY-er like myself, the Internet is a treasure trove of freakin’ awesome information and ideas: Craftster, BurdaStyle, and You Grow Girl are my current favorites.

All I ask of you, Internet, is that you keep up the good work. Or get more awesome. Unpossible? Perhaps.

Shuffle is brilliant

June 12, 2007 at 10:39 pm | Posted in random | 1 Comment

I was in the darkroom the other day and I was listening to my iPod. I usually listen to it on shuffle cause I like the variety. Anyway, Ben Gibbard does this pretty funny cover of Avril Lavigne’s “Complicated” (I love it cause at the end, he’s all, “The situation really isn’t that complicated, is it? I mean, she’s into this guy and he’s just not really all that into her.” Hilarious), and it came on. The next song — the very next song — was Avril Lavigne’s original. What a priceless moment.

Family, stupid drugs

May 3, 2007 at 11:00 pm | Posted in family, random | Leave a comment

So, some of my relatives are very devout Pentecostal Christians. Which means that not only was I not able to use alcohol as a social lubricant over the weekend while visiting, I also had to watch my mouth. I am pretty sure that I say ‘Oh my God’ once a minute, and ‘fuck’ is definitely my favorite word. While I can certainly be petty about stuff like that, and instead of respecting people’s boundaries I wouldn’t put it past me to flaunt my heathenness (is that a word?) by drinking and cursing like a sailor, I just cannot do that to my aunt and uncle. They are the nicest people in the world, and they have never once, in their entire lives, suggested to me that my lifestyle is inappropriate or wrong. They know full well that I do not adhere to the Christian faith and that my politics are super liberal — they think Canada is a perfect fit for me — but they never, ever judge me for it. So, I figure that the least I can do is attend their daughter’s bridal shower, put the old language filter on, and bow my head with the best of them for one measly weekend.

I didn’t take my anti-depressant yesterday and there was hell to pay for that. I just forgot to take it in the morning cause I didn’t eat breakfast at home, and then I wasn’t able to take it later in the day. I’ve missed it before and I pretty much knew what I was in for, but I’ve never not taken it for that long. I started feeling dizzy yesterday afternoon, and that continued all day. I couldn’t even turn my head or move my eyes without feeling it. That was expected. What I didn’t expect were the extremely vivid, extremely weird and annoying dreams. I vaguely remember that from when I started taking Effexor, that I would have really vivid dreams that would just haunt me throughout the day. Last night was certainly no exception. Even though I took the stupid pill when I got home this morning, at 11:30, I didn’t feel better until this evening, after a major nap. What scares me about this is that if I ever had to stop taking it, I would be basically incapacitated for however long it takes the drug to leave my system. I wouldn’t be able to work; I was barely able to cross the street properly this afternoon. But taking it just makes such a huge difference in my ability to stabilize. Before I started it, I was a complete wreck, prone to bouts of depression pretty regularly, and also super nervous in social situations. I don’t know if I’ll ever be perfectly at ease in large groups of people — I sort of doubt it — but at least I can attend parties and meet people at bars without having a nervous breakdown beforehand.

I’m kind of an idiot

April 26, 2007 at 8:43 am | Posted in random | 2 Comments

I shaved half of one leg in the shower this morning, then got distracted and didn’t finish the job.

I’m on the bandwagon

April 6, 2007 at 6:50 pm | Posted in random | 1 Comment

(see Alli, Alex, and AKD.)

, you’re now logged in!

Below you’ll find your test result. After, continue on to your
homescreen to discover what we’re about.

Pure Nerd

60 % Nerd, 39% Geek, 43% Dork

For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.

A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.

A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.

You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd.

The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the “dork.” No-longer. Being smart isn’t as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful.


Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you’re interested in any of the following:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Professional Wrestling

Love & Sexuality



My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on nerdiness
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on geekosity
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on dork points

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

May furries

April 5, 2007 at 8:27 am | Posted in random, things that annoy | Leave a comment

It snowed last night. I woke up this morning and looked out the window, and there was suspicious-looking white stuff on the neighbors’ houses. A quick glance out of another window confirmed it. Snow. Uh, weather? I believe that the saying is, April showers bring May flowers. Not April flurries bring May… furries? Hurries? Worries? Scurries? See, it doesn’t work. Showers, ok?

Death and — oh, you know how it goes

March 31, 2007 at 3:15 pm | Posted in life, random | 1 Comment

While most of my friends pass their tax stuff off to the family accountant, the guy who does the taxes in my family is my father. He’s had no interest in doing my taxes since about 1999, which is the first year I filed. I think my mom helped me with them once, but I’ve been on my own since my second year of undergrad. My taxes aren’t too complicated — I don’t own property or anything — but they’re still a pain in the ass. I can’t file 1040 EZ cause of the capital gains/losses (guess which) form I have to attach. This year, I have the added twist of having earned my income in Canada. Last night, I spent a few hours wading through the IRS website, looking for the various forms and publications that would shed light on whether or not I was a bona fide resident of Canada or just had physical presence here. I think I figured it out, but not before I came across a link on the site to something called, What’s hot in forms and publications. Let me say that again:

What’s hot in forms and publications.

I love the IRS and the US government for things like this. I’m sure there’s breaking news in the forms and publications department, but could they maybe have called it, What’s new in forms and publications, or Most popular forms and publications? Did they have to invoke Paris Hilton? What’s next? “IRS Gone Wild!”? “The Ladies of the IRS”? Can you imagine? I mean, don’t bother dressing it up for us, guys, we know what it is — it’s tax season, and nothing on the IRS website is going to make us pant and salivate, not even “hot” forms and publications.

I’m so getting audited.

Kids are suckers

March 14, 2007 at 11:51 am | Posted in random | 5 Comments

And the people who run the elementary school near my house are brilliant. My walk to work takes me right by the school’s playground, and many times when I walk by, the kids are either playing before school or during recess. It has snowed a few times in the past month or so and, of course, it’s built up on the playground. When it became icy, I sort of wondered to myself how the kids and the staff were going to handle that: would the caretakers salt the playground? would the kids have indoor recess? Well, it turns out that I was totally wrong:

Apparently, all you have to do to get kids to shovel snow for you is hand them brightly-colored shovels. Even today, when most of the icy buildup has melted, they were out there with their shovels, cheerfully chipping away at what remains of winter.

If I have kids (God forbid, obviously) and we live in a cold climate where it snows in the winter, I’ll just find the most colorful shovels I can (making sure they’re made from strong stuff, of course), and send the rugrats outside to “play” as I sit indoors, smoking cigarettes and drinking Irish coffee. You can nominate me for Mother of the Year later.

Pillow fighting? A pillow fighting league? Seriously?

February 9, 2007 at 2:15 pm | Posted in random | 4 Comments

What the hell is the world coming to? So far this year, my friends and peers have joined an ultimate frisbee league, a dodgeball league, and now I’m hearing rumors of a pillow fighting league. (The first two “leagues,” I can understand — sort of, as my position on joining things is fairly well-stated — but the third one is bewildering.)

Let me say that again — a pillow fighting league. Who needs a league for this shit? First of all, the person who came up with the idea is clearly in possession of twigs and berries, and only started it as a way of fulfilling some weird adolescent fantasy fueled by too many cheesy ’80s movies in which girls at slumber parties take off their nightgowns and pillow fight topless. Some might say that his idea was brilliant, but I’m gonna call bullshit on it. What are women going to be tricked into next, joining the KY Jelly Wrestling League? I mean, just because you think it’s ironic and hip doesn’t mean that’s not actually degrading and idiotic.

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